I don’t know my name

I don’t know my name

I don’t know my name

just feeling like sharing this…

life…death…life…

 

and sharing two videos of Grace VanderWaal who I relate with…

her writing and singing from the heart…

 

i don’t know my name…

 

i have been known by several names…

the name my parents gave me was Gregory Alan Lunger…

so Gregory, Greg or was called Lunger in the Navy…

in construction was called many names, many with four letters..ha ha…

online first known as ironmanx…raising from the flames…

of chronic fatigue syndrome…

third divorce and loss of desired fatherhood of another child, making that four children…

then cosmic surfer…surfing cosmic consciousness…and a lot of photoshop art…

then yogi zen dude and all the sound healing

next…Lahari Mahasaya from the line of Self Realization Fellowship Masters, Guru’s…

initiated me into swamihoodSwami Shiva Durga Ananda

then starting just love bhakti yoga

i wrote on Facebook awhile back about not knowing my name anymore…

for am found my Self not being any of them…

i don’t know my name…

no name…

no form…

no past…

only now…

 

when i see this body form in the mirror…

i wonder who that is…not being aware of form so much now…

 

i learned a zen quote from Rupert Spira:

 

first there is a river and a mountain…

then there is nothing…

then there is the river and the mountain…

 

only now the river and the mountain is experienced known as awareness…

 

so   now  realizing  awareness…

will just use the name greg lunger again…

or awareness known as greg lunger…

i don’t want any separation felt between us…

by using swami or one of the others…

we are all aware…

not one of us being more or less aware…

not one of us having more access to awareness…

pride self esteem dissolves and replaced by endless joy…

 

i moved to India for a few reasons…

a big part was with 20 years of practicing kryia yoga…

which saved me from much grieve…and i experienced…

what can’t be put into words…many many times…

with knowing more and more joy through my days…

i knew there was more…

what is it…i had to know.

i   had   an   extremely   intense   demand   to   know.

 

note, before i moved to India i had also read and reread several of the books written from the 26 secret diaries of Lahari Mahasaya

 

in India, what happened was an infinitely eternal deep relationship with Neem Karoli Baba and Sri Anandamayi Ma now knowing love which totally blew me away…then an infinitely eternal deep relationship with Ramana Maharishi, Muruganar, Nityananda and Nisargadatta happened…learning about “who am i” and “i am that”…David Godman devotee of Ramana Maharishi…ordered and read numerous books and watching  David’s videos…

not knowing i was learning about non duality…

awareness observing awareness…

 

while ordering more books, i found Michael Langford, ordered more books and practiced for hours and hours each day…

then on Michael Langford’s YouTube channel there is a woman Regina Dawn Akers and on youtube or her facebook page a friend of hers is Rupert Spira and his YouTube channel

 

i have realized that i have been aware of my awareness through my life…

moments of eternity…here and there…that i could find when ever i wanted…

 

early on experiencing everyone i knew…

they seemed to have no experience of there awareness…

this experience of infinite eternal awareness love and bliss…

those i knew in religion and psychology were also clueless…

 

somewhere in the mid 1980’s…

about 2 years after my first divorce losing her and three children…

the dream…the sunshine in my life…

i stopped at a pharmacy on my way home from work…

and found the largest bottle of sleeping pills i could, 70 pills…

went home…got a big glass of water…

sat on the side of my bed…and took them all…

laid down and gradually lost complete control of the body…

found myself soaring through space…

with no body…

there was a whirlpool of light…

i flew soared glided into it…

it became a tunnel of light…

dissolving all thought…

no words…no words…

then could see an even greater intense yet soothing light at the end…

when i got there…

there were six figures of light to greet me…

spent some time with them…

then they showed me to my Self…(at the time i felt it was God)

an infinite eternal light…

stayed with my Self…

feeling and exploring for what felt like eternity…

again…no words…i had no idea…no idea…

love and bliss that has to be personally experienced…

then i knew i had a choice…

to stay…

or to go back…

it was about 5:30 pm when i had sat down on my bed to take the sleeping pills…

it was about 7 am when i gently came to, standing in the shower, with two of the light beings…

holding me up till i could stand on my own…

 

now you know when and why i have had an extremely intense desire to know my Self…all the time…

 

(you will find the Source your Self just by recognizing your own awareness, no journey like mine needed).

 

during my second marriage towards the half way point i was smoking pot and drinking all day, reading and practicing from Carlos Castanada, for five years… towards the end i was reading Course of Miracles, Crest Jewel of Discrimination and the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna…which began my on and off practice of japa…

about a year after the 2nd divorce i found Paramahasa Yogananda moved to the Phoenix, Arizona Temple…

and started years (2 decades) of intense practice of kryia yoga…

hoping one day to achieve what is natural for each of us…

Self realization…and feeling that it was still in the distance…

feeling there was still something different between me and Yogananda and the other Guru’s…

 

now…with the loving guidance of Ramana, Nisargadatta, Nityananda, Michael Langford and Rupert Spira…

i experience realize my own direct experience of awareness…

so so simple…

it started with a simple statement Michael Langford wrote…

he said awareness is not something so mysterious…

that our awareness is what is looking through our eyes right now…

lights on right then for me…

 

am so grateful…

and i love simple…

i love direct…

only what is essential.

having   this   extremely   intense  demand   for   knowing…

the   most   direct   means   of   knowing   the   Self…

am i aware…yes…

 

the next step…the more i was looking for…

i feel Yoganada and his lineage along with my other Guru friend’s…

lead me to awareness observing awareness…

simply observing awareness…

 

it is said that the Guru’s are the secondary, #2 Guru…

our   Self   is   the   #1   Guru…

whom the Guru’s are here to help us find…

i can attest for what they are pointing too and their amazing abilty…

eternal gratefulness…

 

you and me…me and you will shine and light the sky…

some of the words:

Cause my head is spinning
And my feet off the ground
And I can’t stop dancing
Like no one’s around
And yeah I think we were born to shine

Cause the stars are dull when they’re compared to you and I
And if people don’t like it then they can close their eyes
Cause we’re not the same and we don’t have to try
Cause we’re brighter than fireflies, we’re gonna light the sky

Ooh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh oh
Ooh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh oh
Light the sky

 

have too much FUN…Light the sky…=)

 

Non Duality

Rupert Spira on Facebook and YouTube

Greg Lunger

 

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